Sunday, September 09, 2007
KIDS AND CLEANING
Words of Deb
Sweeping isn't genetically programmed like walking. Mom's don't make
their kids walk by saying a few encouraging words. Some people
might find that sweeping up helps them have a better quality of life
but not all people care about clean or dirty floors. Not all people
live where there are floors to sweep and dishes to wash, but all
people who are physiologically able, walk. Mom's can make their
kids sweep up though, because of that power imbalance mentioned
earlier it can be that kids comply with a parents wishes not because
they see value in the task they've been assigned but because they
feel pressured to do what they're told out of fear of punishment or
some other misery if they don't comply.
A kid can only naturally help with household things if he's free to
help or not help. If a thing is valuable to an individual then that
person will do that thing.
It's the parents set the standards
for cleanliness that they then expect the children to adopt as their
own and live up to. Requiring a child to do chores in a home
selected by the parents to a standard set by the parents is not the
same as the inborn desire and physiological drive of humans to
acquire language and to walk. Maybe he's happy to help out and
never questions your system. But what if he does? If he doesn't
want to clean the toilet next time can he skip it?
Learning is natural but that doesn't mean all things learned have the
same value to the individual. Walking and talking will be valuable
for your son's lifetime. Sweeping may or may not be. The learning
of all those things can be done naturally.
If you believe the toilet must be
maintained at a certain level then take responsibility for that
conviction and be the one to clean the pot. I think of cleaning as a
gift I can give my family, to make our little house of chipping paint
and second hand store furniture a place of peace and comfort. I
worked as a housekeeper in a motel and if there's anything can make
you see cleaning your own bathroom as a very pleasant task it's
cleaning up after a motel full burly hunters who are subsisting for a
week on chewing tobacco and sausages and beer.
You could clean it. You could hire it cleaned. You could barter it
cleaned. You could trade with a friend who just loves shining
porcelain and do her laundry or mow her lawn. By saying it would
NEVER get cleaned are you telling us that you yourself would refuse
to clean it if it was not your turn and you saw that it was grimy?
Put a bleach disc in the tank. Put a box of premoistened cleaning
towels on the back of the toilet. Every morning when you get up go
wipe off the toilet. It's not a big deal, it takes about one minute,
it gets done every day, you're not making anyone else live up to your
standard for a clean toilet.
My kid helps with some housework too, so I know kids help generously
and willingly. The difference in an unschooling family is that kids
come to help with cleaning because they want to, not because parents
decide they should. The same reasoning applies to chores as applies
to math and reading. When a person sees value in reading and is
ready he will learn to read. That person might always just read what
he needs in order to get by and never have a desire to read the
classics or read for pleasure. When a person understands the value
of being able to figure out if he has enough money for two toys or
three and wants to be able to figure change, and when his brain is
ready, he learns to count and add and subtract. He may never feel
the need to learn higher math. When a kid sees the benefit of a tidy
house and when he is ready he will learn to do some things to make
his environment more comfortable. He may never feel the need for
perfect cleanliness and spotless floors or a toilet cleaned every day.
basic ideas of unschooling - that learning is natural and
doesn't require mom and dad provide lessons and that children are
good people who should be thought well of and treated with generosity
# posted by Anne @ 10:13 AM 
