Thursday, February 22, 2007
well my mother has come and gone. overall she was very negative during her entire visit. I really couldn't name one positive thing that occurred as a result of her presence here. she did not make the kids read to her or do other schooly things. but she did try to Teach them Lessons. And she was full of comments, criticisms and suggestions. she commented on us having too much stuff. and yet we have less stuff in the main living area of our home than ever before. I am not going to go into all the details, I have a headache. But I suggested several times that she go down and see the play room, which she never did. The only playing with the kids that she did was on her terms, things she wanted to do. I heard her dismiss them several times, when they were trying to tell her something, obviously not paying any attention to them and just talking about something else, like to me, barely acknowledging the child.
Oh I heard a ton of stuff about how terrible my nephew is. And the blame is all heaped on my SIL's head. Nephew has been ordered that he must go to counseling, or move out! My dear mother's suggestion!!!! Kevin doesn't think she is very happy with her life. She is certainly not spewing joy and happiness to others. The child is 16 and they are telling him he has to move out. She says, now he knows this is serious! Yes, I agree. There is a serious lack of love and compassion.
My mother is so focused on school things and controlling children. She doesn't seem to approve of compromise within a marriage either. Not to mention with children!
All the criticism and negativity.....we have enough of that from Kevin. So sad that my mother comes and brings her own, equally damaging, brand of it. Everything is about teaching them a lesson. I guess she figures it is her job, because we don't, or something. How to tell her nicely that it isn't her job? Of course she doesn't approve of the way my kids are not "up to grade level" my kindergartener doesn't even know his alphabet! What if Kevin dies and I have to go back to work, she asked. I informed her that I would not have to go back to work if he died! I already know how much money I will get. No worries there. She strongly feels that J needs "socialization" needs to be with other kids etc. I told her, which maybe wasn't so nice of me, that I would rather he have no friends then go to school and turn out like my nephew! Had to get my digs in, but its true I don't want any of them to go to school until its time for trade school or college if they so choose. Nor do I care if they are up to grade level or whatever. What I care about is happy children and a joyful family. Hard enough with mr raincloud kevin in the family but I am trying!
well I think I need to write my brother a letter.
Oh I heard a ton of stuff about how terrible my nephew is. And the blame is all heaped on my SIL's head. Nephew has been ordered that he must go to counseling, or move out! My dear mother's suggestion!!!! Kevin doesn't think she is very happy with her life. She is certainly not spewing joy and happiness to others. The child is 16 and they are telling him he has to move out. She says, now he knows this is serious! Yes, I agree. There is a serious lack of love and compassion.
My mother is so focused on school things and controlling children. She doesn't seem to approve of compromise within a marriage either. Not to mention with children!
All the criticism and negativity.....we have enough of that from Kevin. So sad that my mother comes and brings her own, equally damaging, brand of it. Everything is about teaching them a lesson. I guess she figures it is her job, because we don't, or something. How to tell her nicely that it isn't her job? Of course she doesn't approve of the way my kids are not "up to grade level" my kindergartener doesn't even know his alphabet! What if Kevin dies and I have to go back to work, she asked. I informed her that I would not have to go back to work if he died! I already know how much money I will get. No worries there. She strongly feels that J needs "socialization" needs to be with other kids etc. I told her, which maybe wasn't so nice of me, that I would rather he have no friends then go to school and turn out like my nephew! Had to get my digs in, but its true I don't want any of them to go to school until its time for trade school or college if they so choose. Nor do I care if they are up to grade level or whatever. What I care about is happy children and a joyful family. Hard enough with mr raincloud kevin in the family but I am trying!
well I think I need to write my brother a letter.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
a plan
ok, i have made a decision. i am starting fiar with p & n tomorrow. will start with the book ping, always a popular choice! will try to do it 5 days a week, tho not likely five days in a row! have printed off some schedule papers to fill out so i have something to check off. this will give us an opportunity to spend some time doing things together every day that will be fun, will not worry about the formal reading and math stuff right away. going to ease into the routine of doing the fiar things together every day, spending time in our very fun school room enjoying each other. will see about working in the right start math, the reading & writing programs, after awhile. no pressure on them, no pressure on me. easy and fun. i feel comfortable with this decision. looking forward to starting it tomorrow, sometime after CCD.
its hard
its so hard to know what the right thing to do is regarding children and their education. i want to unschool my kids. then I wonder, can I do it or will I just ruin their lives trying. otoh dh wants to do school-at-home with our oldest. which of course the boy is not interested in! I am trying to educate dh about unschooling, which ain't easy, especially since I am still trying to educate myself about it! now I am facing a visit from my mother next weekend and she is sure to find out that I have done absolutely 0 school work with our 6 yo this year. and its not that I don't want to do anything with him....I do, but I am not motivated. oh there goes dh cursing and yelling at our oldest....they are in the school room working out of the school text book. I am really not happy about that. Things were going fine until I had the baby....ever since then, I have been unable to get into the swing of things. of course dh loves to threaten to send him back to school which makes me cringe. i don't want him or any of my kids to go to school. I want them to be free to live and learn. but I am also so afraid that I will end up neglecting them while thinking I am unschooling. I would like to throw away the past and start over! I did well following the sonlight schedule.....maybe I should go back to that style and type up a schedule like that for my kindergartener and preschooler. maybe that would help motivate me. I dunno. as for the oldest boy....sigh....I just dunno.
