Family of 6 in PA

So......J has decided he is going to go to school. WHY! I can hardly understand it. I don't want him to go. There is no need for him to go. What a stupid waste of time. He will miss out on so much at home. What possible benefit will he have by going? So then K thinks maybe P will go to school at some point I told him NO that will not be happening....none of these other kids are EVER going to school!!! I feel like I have LOST my older boy. Lost him to strangers. I feel like a failure. Like I should have been more present, moe enthuiastic, offering more fun things to do, doing more fun things WITH him, then maybe he wouldn't want to be going. Ok so I told him he has to stay for one month. But I won't hold him to that. If he doesn't want to stay I will pull him out immediately! I am trying to hold my tongue and not beg him to not go tomorrow. Its going to be difficult though. I don't know if I can do it. But I did tell him it was his choice. So I need to stand by that.