Wednesday, November 15, 2006
a sigh
kevin was oxygen starved. he is way better now. he is resigned that jeffrey is not going back. he worked out a plan with jeffrey for the rest of the week. he called his mom and she told him it will be good for jeffrey to stay home. 6 hours is way too long. so at last we are easing out of the tense state we have been in. i mentioned several times how great he was with jeffrey today, spending time with him doing what jeffrey wanted to do. i told him how much better everything will be if he will be an involved parent. i explained that jeffrey needs to be a cup filled with loving attention, and its when his cup runs low that we have so many problems. if kevin can keep up the positive interactions jeffrey will be a changed person! he thrives on daddy attention. he needs his love and approval so much. earlier, before his turnabout, kevin said he could give him that kind of attention after school. well it had already been proven that he can't. i just don't think school is the right environment for jeffrey, unless we medicated him, which we don't want to do. if we can keep his cup filled up, he will be much more receptive to the one on one instruction that only we can give him.
Monday, November 13, 2006
unschooling explained
from joyce f:
> I guess I don't really know the difference between homeschooling
> I guess I don't really know the difference between homeschooling
> and unschooling.
Homeschooling is the broader term. Unschooling is a type of
homeschooling. Homeschooling covers all sorts of individual styles:
school at home curriculum to curriculum based around particular
values to unit studies to eclectic (which pulls together various
resources to teach subjects based on the child's interests) to
unschooling.
On the surface that's the difference. But in essence they're entirely
different. Most homeschooling styles focus on getting skills and
information into kids just as schools do. Unschooling is absorbing
those skills and information as a side effect of living life,
exploring interests, and playing.
Unschooling is to homeschooling as toddlers picking up English as
they go about living their lives exploring and playing is to sitting
in a classroom trying to learn Spanish.
Schools (and curriculum) teach kids how to hammer so that if they
want to build something one day they'll have the skills. In schools
the skills are separated from their use so they're much harder to
learn. (Which is why people have the impression that learning what's
"necessary" is hard.)
Unschoolers build things that a child wants to build and learn
hammering (and a huge chunk of other stuff about wood and
construction and the people they're with and whatever things they
talk about and ...) as a side effect of creating something. Life
isn't divided into discreet skills. Life draws on this and that and
everything. And that's how it's natural for humans to learn.
Curriculum is about pushing skills and information into kids that
they might need one day.Unschooling is about a child pulling in what
they find fascinating and forming connections. To schoolers that
seems iffy because they know their kids would only play or only do
the things that interest them and their learning would be lopsided.
But the results are much different than imagined.
Unschooling looks nothing like school. It looks a lot like
playing. :-) Just as absorbing English as a toddler looks nothing
like a Spanish classroom.
Friday, November 10, 2006
free at last!!!
My child is no longer in school. I have withdrawn him to home school. I am very happy about it. DH is being a dick about it. To recap the history:
He was always home schooled until last March when I got fed up with his refusal to do any work and put him in public school for 3 months. After his adjustment, he liked it. I told him all summer it was his choice whether he wanted to go to 3rd grade. He decided the day before it started that he would go. We had home work battles from the start. I had asked him to stay for one month before deciding if he wanted to stay. Then dh talked him into staying until he got his first report card. he got it last weds night. dh knew all along that he might not stay in, and that i did not want him to stay in. he has been playing lots of mind-games with the child. still is, telling him he is sad that he isn't going any more. I am furious at his behavior and his lack of support. I tried my best to be supportive of him being in school, though I hated every minute of it. I wish I had never made him go last year, and never given him the choice to go this year. And then dh had the nerve to be angry when our son refused to go the day after the report card. He was trying to talk him into to staying til the end of this month. Then it would have been the next month, then the next.....I am angry. THe child made his choice and it needs to be respected. But no, he is still trying to talk him into going back. And forget UNschooling....he thinks we should be sitting down for hours every day doing school work. In the past he was always supportive of home schooling. Now suddenly he thinks school is great. "he's learning!" blah blah blah. Well I am damned determined that my children will never go to school again, if I have anything to say about it. And we will be VERY relaxed home schoolers.
He was always home schooled until last March when I got fed up with his refusal to do any work and put him in public school for 3 months. After his adjustment, he liked it. I told him all summer it was his choice whether he wanted to go to 3rd grade. He decided the day before it started that he would go. We had home work battles from the start. I had asked him to stay for one month before deciding if he wanted to stay. Then dh talked him into staying until he got his first report card. he got it last weds night. dh knew all along that he might not stay in, and that i did not want him to stay in. he has been playing lots of mind-games with the child. still is, telling him he is sad that he isn't going any more. I am furious at his behavior and his lack of support. I tried my best to be supportive of him being in school, though I hated every minute of it. I wish I had never made him go last year, and never given him the choice to go this year. And then dh had the nerve to be angry when our son refused to go the day after the report card. He was trying to talk him into to staying til the end of this month. Then it would have been the next month, then the next.....I am angry. THe child made his choice and it needs to be respected. But no, he is still trying to talk him into going back. And forget UNschooling....he thinks we should be sitting down for hours every day doing school work. In the past he was always supportive of home schooling. Now suddenly he thinks school is great. "he's learning!" blah blah blah. Well I am damned determined that my children will never go to school again, if I have anything to say about it. And we will be VERY relaxed home schoolers.
Friday, November 03, 2006
this is unschooling
from a list
Learning To Write
Learning To Write
When we don't try to teach kids "on schedule," they will learn at
widely varying times. One of my kids learned to read fluently at 3
years old and another at 8 years old. A 17 yo unschooler I know well
didn't learn to read until he was 12 or 13. It is to be expected. My
suggestion to you is to stop comparing your kid to other kids - look
ONLY at your own kid and notice what he IS doing, not what he isn't
doing. You never help a kid by focusing on what he doesn't know - you
help them by supporting what they ARE doing, what they enjoy, what
they are passionately pursuing. This is where trust is required for
unschooling parents - you have to be totally okay with kids learning
on their own timetable. You have to be so sure that the WILL learn
what they need to learn that you simply stop worrying about it - you
live each hour of each day enjoying what your kids are doing, not
feeling concerned about what they aren't doing.
Writing is about having something to say. The BEST road to writing is
lots and lots of great experiences, lots of discussion, lots of
pretend play, lots of stories and tv and movies and games and,
eventually, a reason to want to write something down. Every time he
tells you about a game he is playing or about the lego creation and
just made, or about what he did at his friend's house, or anything
else, THAT is him practicing "writing." Later, he'll learn to get it
on paper if there is reason for it, but that is just a technicality.
If you are worrying about the mechanics of writing letters - please
don't. ANY activity that involves him using his arms, hands, and
fingers, is helping him develop the muscles he'll eventually use in
writing. He doesn't need to actually BE writing to develop those
small muscles.
There is GREAT danger in too-early academics. I've seen it - I've
watched schools and homeschool parents doing academics with young
children and watched the children develop supposed learning
disabilities. I am firmly convinced that those disabilities would
never have arisen if the children were allowed to play and learn at
their own speed. Don't feel pangs of worry that your child is behind
other young children who appear to be doing academics - feel SORRY
for those families because they are very likely to be facing a number
of possible problems that result FROM pushing the early academics.
Even if they manage to not create learning disabilities, there lots
of other negative consequences possible. Please read "Miseducation:
Preschoolers at Risk" by David Elkind. His ideas and evidence is
applied to kids 5 and under - but I truly believe that his arguments
are equally true for older kids, too.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I choose
I choose for my children to be Whole.
I choose for my children to be at Peace.
I choose for my children to be Content with Life and themSelves.
I choose for my children to Know ThemSelves.
I choose for my children to share their own unique gifts with the world,
trusting that there will be a space for them in the world, trusting that
this is why they are here in this world.
I choose for my children to really LIVE.
I choose Joy.
